Everyone should be creators, says God

June 28, 2025 · 4 mins read

For context, please see the introduction for this series: “Wycliffe-Only Movement: a satirical movement”


A man has been telling everyone that if they do not do what God wants, bad things will happen to them.

“What do I want everyone to do?”, God asked the man.

:open_mouth: , in amazement

Ah, I remember. Genesis 1:1 says, “In the beginning God made out of nothing the heavens and the earth.” (quoted from Wycliffe Bible)
That means, you, as my imagers, should be creating something. You should be creators.

Adam, thinking out loud, said, “Gardeners create food.
“Everyone should be gardeners.”, he reiterated.
Eve, thinking out loud, said, “Mothers create babies.
“Everyone should be a mother.”, she reiterated.
The snake, thinking out loud, said, “Uhmm… serpents create tracks.
“Everyone should become serpe… I mean, I mean, Everyone who go on their breast creates tracks: that could be physical tracks to those who interpret it literally, or emotional tracks to those who interpret it metaphorically.
“Everyone should go on their breast and eat the earth.”, he reiterated.

God called to them to correct their thinking.
“Adam, I advise you to read the short essay ‘I Pencil’ by Leonard E. Read, so you will realize that you cannot be an efficient gardener without the tools created by blacksmiths. If everyone were gardeners, who will be the ones to create the gardeners tools?”
“Eve, I give you this biology textbook. Go read it.”
“And you serpent, have you not realized that if everyone is going to eat the earth and you consume all of it, where would everyone live?”

“Oh my mistake”, Adam replied. “Everyone should be gardeners and blacksmiths”.
“My bad”, Eve said. “Everyone should be a mother and a biology enthusiast (at the least). I disagree that only biologist can define what a woman is. I don’t have time to take a four year biology course. Biology enthusiast can also define woman.”
“Oooops”, the serpent realized his mistake. “Everyone should become a physicist who believe in a multiverse. That will make it so that there is an infinite number of earths we can make tracks on and eat. Take note that I said physicist, not just physics enthusiasts. Because how can a multiverse be true if only physics enthusiasts believe in it. And we have all eternity to take four year courses.”

:man_facepalming:
“If everyone should become farmers and blacksmiths, those people who are interested in creating more sophisticated machines will have lesser time developing their skills to be able to create machines which help farmers to scale?”
“If everyone should become mothers and biology enthusiasts, what about those who prefer to create hospitals where mothers give birth to their babies; what about those who like to make buildings where biology enthusiasts do their work?”
“If everyone should go on thy breast and eat the earth, and become physicists who believe in a multiverse, who would create rockets and spaceships on which people travel to other worlds or universes?”

“Those would be the engineers!”, exclaimed Elon Musk.
“I am none of the above, but a people have chosen me to be their national hero”, protested Jose Rizal.
“I wrote the Wycliffe Bible, the book from which Adam, Eve, and the serpent based their initial claims.”, said John Wycliffe. “Does that mean that everyone should be a writer or translator too?”

“Very very good point!” :+1: :+1: :+1:

“I’m a writer too!”, exclaimed Jose Rizal.

[/satire]

Buy Me A Coffee